A lot of pornography is not only immoral but deeply harmful. In a study from the University of Durham (Vera-Gray et al, 2021)), it was found that 12% of the imagery instantly available on the first pages of the main pornographic websites involved violence, aggression or incest. Even when people aren’t looking for things that ostensibly harm, they are highly likely to be confronted with it.

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I want to pause here, and say that by talking about ‘immorality’ I don’t want you to feel condemned. You are reading this because you want a liberated life, and that is what Christ came to bring. He Himself said that He did not come into the world to condemn it, but to save it. John 3:17 says:

 

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”

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Why does God see sexual immorality as wrong? If we think of all the effects of sex in contexts other than love, what we see is a plethora of things that affect humanity very badly – children born without parents who wanted them, fatherless children (and all the psychological  consequenes of this), sexually transmitted infections, feelings of shame (and the accompanying sorrow alleviated by drugs,alcohol, self-harm…). At  the very least, loveless sex leaves people without the kind of bliss and peace that is achievable through loving sexual interactions, and instead with a sense of physical satiety but no full satisfaction. Also, sexual immorality often comes from some inner hurt – people looking for the affirmation that didn’t get as children, not realizing that they have a dysregulated reward system until they find true attachment; people recreating the trauma they experienced; etc....not that people often realise that this is what they are operating from. God does not want you to stay stuck, behaving in ways that only serve to perpetuate unhealthy cycles.

 

Feeling bad, guilty, or ashamed is a likely part of struggling with pornography, so the last thing I want to do is to add to that. I just wanted to highlight the point that, if there were any lurking suspicions that God thought pornography could be OK…I hope that the above shows you that He doesn’t. He wants better for You.

 

Our boundaries regarding what is sexually acceptable are shifting enormously, and our culture states that what was once extreme is now OK. I know this for certain because, when I found out that the Crown Prosecution Service was changing their stance on what was classified as ‘extreme pornography, I wrote to them. They told me that their new guidelines were absolutely correct because they had taken a public survey on what should now be acceptable. They hadn’t talked to scientists, no, they’d consulted the general public...like that was going to garner wisdom and scientific perspectives on where it could all lead. As you’ll see elsewhere, when we talk about tolerance, access to the type of pornography that is now widely available can only mean that more people come to harm.

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As time goes by, pornography is becoming more extreme. In the 1980s, it was seen by producers that violent pornography sold well, so they created more (Foubert, 2023). What was once taboo is now mainstream and includes racism and acts that degrade and cause pain, frequently under the guise that the pain is pleasurable. This creates a myth among young people that sex is supposed to hurt.

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​Mainstream pornography sites host a great deal of content that contains scenes of aggression – 40% of the combined videos from 2 main sites in Fritz et al’s 2020 study. In response to these acts of choking, gagging, slapping etc, women (who were 97% of the targets) were expected to either look neutral or appear to experience pleasure. If anyone asked himself whether a woman actually wanted a man to ejaculate on her face, what would he say? He might say that she looked like she enjoyed it. Did she, though? It's all part of the illusion.

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The phenomenon of strangulation/occlusion of airways in pornography has become so mainstream that it forms part of some people’s expected sexual activities. The aim is to produce euphoria but other results can be tinnitus, neck pain, loss of consciousness and even death (Herbenick et al, 2023).

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A distinction can be made between commercially produced pornography and sexual activity that is filmed and uploaded onto various sites. Whilst commercial pornography will include people who have been coerced by subtler means, such as financial, abuse of power, or the gradual erosion of dignity or belief in the ability to work elsewhere, individuals uploading pornography is something different. What is uploaded can be tamer in some instances but it can also include scenes of actual rape including that of minors. The parent company of Pornhub has bene taken to court for allowing child sexual abuse material on its site on so many occasions that it is a class action (Reuters, 20.12.2023).